


Permission To Grieve

by LadySerendipitous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Gen, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 00:20:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySerendipitous/pseuds/LadySerendipitous
Summary: Adam comes to terms with the end of the Kerberos Mission.





	Permission To Grieve

It was a small bar, a regular for the seasoned pilots of the Garrison, where Adam was nursing his drink. It was far too early in the morning, if it was still morning, for him to be on his third beer but the bartender didn’t comment. In fact there were few words spoken in the bar this morning other than hushed orders for breakfast from some of the regulars that found themselves there. 

Adam wasn’t quite a regular though he knew the waitstaff passingly well and recognized a few people sitting at booths he noticed from the corner of his eye. There were enough people that knew him, but not well enough. That’s why they left him alone today. 

Except someone decided to sit next to him. Adam only realized it because of the scraping sound of the stool being dragged on the floor. Still he didn’t look at his neighbors. His beer, and the monitor with the news on were already splitting his attention. 

“There you are,” his neighborhood said in a gruff voice. A voice that Adam recognized from years at the Garrison. Even in his current mood he straightened up as he turned to look at Commander Iverson. 

Commander Iverson didn’t speak to him right away, instead ordering a beer from the bartender as well. It was surreal seeing the old war dog with a cold one in hand, but these were the days Adam was living. “Do you know what my plans were today?”

Adam shook his head, not trusting himself to speak. He knew it wasn’t in his character but Adam feared it was some sort of trick question. 

Iverson took a deep drink of his beer and then sat it down. “Montgomery and I were going to head to the Holt household this morning and explain to Colleen and her daughter what happened to her husband and son.”

Adam probably was suppose to say something at this point. Maybe mention he was sorry for their loss. He did not. Instead he took a drink of his beer, staring at his commanding officer. Iverson, surprisingly was not put off by his lack of response. “I then was going to have a meeting scheduled with you. All that though went flying out the window because of that!”

Iverson pointed an accusing finger at the monitor. That, was the news coverage that had been going all morning long about the lost Kerberos mission. There was doubtful anyone living in the country by this point that didn’t know about how due to pilot error the mission failed. 

“I don’t understand,” Adam admitted. He hadn’t been downing his beers so he probably wasn’t so inebriated that he couldn’t follow the conversation, yet he was lost. 

“We’re still looking into who leaked the information to the news outlets before next of kin could be notified. Believe me they’re going to wish their father hadn’t been born when we do, and not because of the mess I’ve had to deal with. 

Adam shook his head, though he was surprised and sympathetic to the Holts’ knowing now they found out about the same way he did most likely. “No, I mean, why would you have needed to see me?”

Iverson looked at him in sympathy. It wasn’t that Adam had never seen the commander show sympathetic emotions in all the years he’d known the man, but it had been rare and never directed at him. It made Adam feel uncomfortable. “Takashi and I broke up before he accepted the mission.”

The sympathetic look did not go away, and it made Adam jumpy, especially when the commander put a hand on his shoulder. “Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean you stopped caring. I don’t need to know what lead up to your break up, but you two were together for a long time and learning that he died by seeing it on the news or through social media couldn’t have been easy.”

Adam shrugged, not wanting to seem weak in front of a man he might not have always liked, but respected immensely. “You’re allowed to grieve even if not everyone understands why you would.”

It was as the floodgates had been released. The emotions he didn’t want to feel. The hurt, the loss, the… grief. Adam had thought he had made his peace with what decision his ex-boyfriend made of his life the few weeks after their break up. He’d though he was over and moved on from the man that had been such an important part of his life for so long. 

Adam knew he was a fool even as he covered his face with his hands, leaning his elbows on the bar. He was a fool, maybe no longer in love, but one that loved deeply and that kind of love could change, but could never, ever go away completely. It could have been today, it could have been ten years from now, never speaking to him again, and still Adam knew he would grieve the death of Takashi Shirogane


End file.
